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It is with an awful lot of anger that I’m writing this: destructive, primitive anger.
I was supposed to be the strong one. I was supposed to be the one who would walk away first. In the first place, I know everything would be hopeless. But I love the way you make me feel so I stayed..
What you said caught me off guard. I can’t process all that has been happening lately. You told me that everything you have shown and told me were lies.
Those nights when you sing me to sleep. Sometimes, I pretend that I am already asleep and you still sing one last song and say I love you and goodnight in the sweetest possible manner.
Those days when I am busy and not in the mood. You still call me every night just to check if I am okay. You are so patient.
How can you ever totally hate someone who made you feel that way.
Everything felt true. Everything felt perfect except for the fact that ‘us’ are not bound to happen. Yes, we are aware of it yet we were so into each other. You used to say that no matter what happens, you’ll always love me. It makes sense now that in the same way that it don’t. The love is there, but we can never be.
This is the first time I have ever felt that I want to fight, a hopeless love that I want to fight for. But then I can’t because letting you go is the right thing to do. It is what I should do. This is mistake I can’t bring myself to regret. Knowing that we are both in love with each other isn’t enough.
I miss you. I miss everything about you. I miss myself when I am around you. I thought I can cover it up. I want to hurt you as badly as you’ve hurt me, perhaps even greater. But I end up thinking we’ve chosen this path so we must face the consequences. This is our fault. I know we have to let go..
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m breaking down.. I don’t know what to feel anymore like something inside me have been turned off. I don’t even know how will I end this post. Fuck everything.
There’s always that one person who’ll only appear when you feel like you are at your lowest, then never fails to make you smile. You never even gave a hint. You were actually waiting for him to say “God called and he says you needed me so I came” :) :)
Whether it’s love or mere friendship, we find people who have the ability to touch our hearts. They come in our lives, share something special with us and then move on to share it with someone else.
People come into our lives for a purpose. When they depart for good, it only means they have delivered the message they were asked to convey.
But it’s always hard. It’s always hard to let go of someone when you used to think that you share something special, something you thought that could last forever.